On the face of it, many people find BDSM offputting. That’s why they don’t give it any further thought. But the truth is that most people don’t know what BDSM is all about, missing out on all the good stuff it offers.
So let’s get the definition out of the way first.
What is BDSM?
BDSM is short for “bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism.” Logically, BDSM sex is a sexual encounter that involves any or all of these aspects. Props like whips, straps, leather gear, and handcuffs are common in BDSM activities.
People engage in BDSM for a variety of reasons. They do it to explore trust, act out fantasies of submission or control, or just as an emotional release in a safe environment.
BDSM encounters usually have a top and a bottom, i.e., the dominant and the submissive role. The bottom or submissive one may have some control, though, like dictating what will happen to them next.
BDSM often includes role-play elements, allowing the participants to assume roles to enact a sexual fantasy.
Popular BDSM lifestyle that you might want to try
Pet play
Pet play is a very common kind of BDSM kink. Essentially, it involves one person playing a pet and the other playing its owner.
The top/bottom dynamic here is obvious, and playing it out is easy. The pet is the bottom in the dominant/submissive relationship, the one obeying every whim of the owner.
The pet/owner role-play typically needs special gear to make it spicy:
- Collars
- Leashes
- Tail butt plugs
- Cat ears
- Muzzles
- Doggy bowl
- Gags
- Knee pads (to keep the knees and elbows pain-free)
You don’t necessarily need these props, but they make the whole experience much sexier.
You can role-play any kind of pet that tickles your fancy. But three kinds of pet play tend to dominate the BDSM scene:
- Kitten play
- Puppy play
- Pony play
If you’d like something more primal, you can try the aptly named primal play. Primal play often requires no toys, and people practicing it tend to use their nails and teeth instead.
DDLG
DDLG is an acronym for Daddy Dom/Little Girl. In this dynamic, one person plays the dominant Daddy that disciplines and cares for the sub, that being the Little Girl. The Little Girl is usually naive, childlike, and very obedient. Depending on what you like, the Little Girl can act as anything between a teen and a baby.
But just because the title has “daddy” in it doesn’t mean the man of the relationship has to play a literal father. There are tons of variations BDSM practitioners can choose from:
- DDLB (Daddy Dom Little Boy)
- TMLG (Trans Mommy Little Girl)
- TMLB (Trans Mommy Little Boy)
- TDLB (Trans Daddy Little Boy)
- TDLG (Trans Daddy Little Girl)
- MDLG (Mommy Dom Little Girl)
- MDLB (Mommy Dom Little Boy)
Master/Slave
The master/slave role-play makes room for more extreme domination. That includes tying up the sub, humiliating them in imaginative ways, putting them through titillatingly painful experiences, and more.
As far as props go, the following will make for a great time:
- Ropes
- Canes
- Hoods
- Paddles
- Cuffs
- Chastity toys
- Collars
- Gags
- Spreader bars
- Yokes
- Whips
- Blindfolds
- Chokers
- Clamps (for the nipples, genitals, nose)
Bondage play is a big part of the slave/master game. It’s a great way to completely give up control to your dominant partner or the other way around.
Millionaire/Commoner
The relationship between the millionaire and the commoner is similar to that of the master and the slave. The former is in complete control, giving them room to do whatever they please with their unfortunate partner.
When discussing the millionaire/commoner scenario, most people’s minds immediately go to movies/books like “Fifty Shades of Grey” and “365 Days.” Both of these offer tons of ideas for how to spice up this role-play in case your creative juices aren’t flowing.
Doctor/Patient
This role-play isn’t necessarily as forceful as the previous two, as doctors usually lack absolute power over their patients. But on the upside, this dynamic opens up possibilities for a plethora of fun props. Here are some examples:
- Wartenberg pinwheel
- Spreader bars (to imitate stirrups)
- Latex gloves,
- Warming device
- Speculum
- Small flashlight
- Overhead desk light
- Lubricant
- Enema kit
- Ice cubes
- Tongue depressor
- Gauze
Of course, feel free to dress up for the occasion. In most cases, a doctor’s coat and stethoscope will do as far as the doctor is concerned. If you’re playing the patient, consider wearing clothes you’ve already decided to throw away since you can cut them with scissors while role-playing.
Boss/Employee
This one offers a great chance for you to get all dressed up (if you like the office setting as the background for your BDSM play). What’s more, it’s a great way to vent about any frustrations you might feel at your workplace, be it as a CEO or a dock worker.
The classic scenario in this category is the boss/secretary role-play. But you can try out many different variants. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Boss/intern
- Newly promoted boss/employee who was once the boss’ superior
- Boss/employee begging for a promotion
- Boss/employee blackmailing the boss
Teacher/Student
A classic in the role-play scene. One person plays the authoritative teacher, while the other plays the unwitting student in detention. Alternatively, the student can turn out to be the dom by lashing out against the teacher’s institutional authority.
Some good props include:
- Rulers
- School outfits
- Blackboard
- Glasses
- Ties
- Books
The teacher/student role-play is noticeably removed from what most people associate with BDSM. In fact, many people that dislike BDSM have likely given it a try. That’s what makes it such a good gateway to the world of the BDSM community.
Conclusion
Of course, there are many other ideas for the BDSM lifestyle, too many to talk about here. Feel free to let your imagination run wild with all the possible scenarios and by owning sex toys available at the LG store.
But don’t get carried away: there are a few key rules everyone that practices BDSM follows:
- There should always be a safe word
- Agree on the limits you and your partner are willing to go to
- Negotiate everything before getting started
- Consent is vital — never do anything without it