WHAT ABOUT PORNOGRAPHY?
Pornography, the new drug of our time, affects nearly every household in the western world. If you’re looking for information on pornography, including why it’s so prevalent and pervasive, you’ve come to the right place. Keep reading to find answers to the most frequently asked questions about pornography.
WHAT IS PORNOGRAPHY?
Pornography is the visual portrayal of sexual activity (by actors and actresses) for the purpose of sexual stimulation, usually through the forms of video or pictures.
WHY DO PEOPLE LOOK AT PORNOGRAPHY?
There are many reasons why people choose to look at porn. Some common examples include, but are not limited to: curiosity, boredom, comfort, a need to feel powerful, peer pressure, needs for intimacy, escape, fantasy indulgence, needing to feel, coping and self-medication and sexual arousal and masturbation.
HOW COMMON IS PORNOGRAPHY USE?
With the launch of the internet and with increasing popularity of smartphones, porn has now become a 5 billion dollar world wide industry. 7 out of 10 men and 5 out of 10 women view porn regularly; this statistic is true in and outside of the church. Sex is the number 1 topic searched on the internet.
IS IT NORMAL THAT I WANT TO LOOK AT PORNOGRAPHY?
According to our sex therapist, “It is very normal to find pornography enticing and interesting as God has given us all a sex drive. Most guys and many girls have some issues around dealing with pornography because of the nature of how enticing it is and how available it is. So, in that respect you are very normal. It just means that you are a sexual being. It is not okay to look at pornography, but it is normal that you are interested.”
WHAT IS A FANTASY?
Fantasizing is the activity of imagining things, especially things that are impossible or improbable. It is a ficticious mental image that we focus on, or an idea with no basis in reality.
Fantasies are the imagination unrestrained; unrestrained implies that the imagination, is in fact, manageable. Although no one completely controls what sort of thoughts they may or may not have, or when they might occur, it is clear that our thought life must be stewarded well.
WHY DO PEOPLE FANTASIZE?
There are many reasons people fantasize. Here are a few reasons our team has discovered: For some of us, reality is painful and disappointing. We use fantasy to soothe ourselves because it’s easier than dealing with our pain and disappointment. Other times, we feel powerless in our circumstance, and our fantasy world is a place where we can feel in control. For example, a man who feels helpless in trying to raise his kids may fantasize about extreme sports, climbing mountains, getting his “big break”, or leaving his family for an easier, more perfect world, full of adventure. This helps him escape, if only for a moment. A woman who struggles to feel beautiful and desirable spends her time day-dreaming about Prince Charming; he will come sweep her off her feet, save her, and take her back to the golden castle of ease.
We have found that people who are dissatisfied with their life often fall prey to the temptation of living in a fantasy world.The danger all of these scenarios (pain, disappointment, dissatisfaction and powerlessness) is when we exchange vision for fantasy and childlikeness for childishness, we become God over our own life. We begin to worship our idealism instead of submitting to God’s will. As we plan, play, and replay our imagined scenarios, we begin living in a false reality. We set ourselves up to be disconnected from God and His ability to give us comfort, wisdom, guidance, and the power we need to function in the reality that is our own life.
WHAT IF MY DREAMS TURN SEXUAL? FOR EXAMPLE, WET DREAMS?
Sex dreams, like most dreams, are not necessarily a reflection of the individual having them, or what’s going on inside of them. There is nothing to feel guilty about; you can’t control your dreams.
It can be perfectly normal to have occasional wet dreams (dreams that culminate in an involuntary orgasm), and there is no need to be ashamed; it’s part of how you were made and is part your body’s natural response to hormones while you sleep. For example, many young men, when they reach puberty, begin to experience wet dreams. This is normal! Men and women may both experience involuntary orgasms, in response to erotic dreams or hormones, especially during REM sleep.
However, if you find yourself having recurring sexual dreams, there may be some habits that you are feeding during the day that are being released in your dream life. For example, if you’re filling your day with highly sexualized movies, music, conversation or images, don’t be surprised if they revisit you at night. Similarly, if you find that you live with stress or high anxiety, your body may try to relieve itself at night by looking for a sexual release in your dreams.
IS THERE A TYPICAL EROTIC-LIT FANTASY?
In my experience, there are two. One is the multiple partner scenario, in a variety of configurations—especially introducing a stranger into the mix. The whole idea of bringing someone new and anonymous into your lovemaking, and the urgency of an encounter like that, is really appealing. The other involves dominance and submission.