Sexual Fantasies: Why Do People Have Them?

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Have you ever had such a wild erotic fantasy that you would never dare try it out in real life? You are not alone. Kinky sex ideas are one of the ways our brains express their endless creativity. No need to reach out to a sex therapist just yet! Let your mind unfold and see where it takes you. What you learn about yourself by giving in to your sexual fantasies may surprise you.

Misconceptions About Sexual Fantasies

Sex is not all about arousal. It is an intricate and intimate way in which we communicate our most vulnerable parts to others. Likewise, sexual fantasies are not only about sexual stimulation. That is the most common misconception about them. They serve a much broader range of psychological functions.

For example, you may often find yourself drifting into a lewd fantasy world while performing a tedious task. Feeling stressed out or angry can be another trigger for wandering off into your wildest dreams. These imaginary sexcapades don’t need to have anything to do with your actual sex life. There are many reasons why we turn to them.

Sexual Arousal

Of course, sexual arousal is the most common reason why people turn to fantasies, which can be as specific as people are unique. That’s why there are tons of porn categories that we can refer to if our imagination is running low. Whether you’re dominant or submissive, prefer kinky or erotic sex, there’s something for everyone. Here’s everything you need to know about sexual arousal.

After all, sex is half reality and half fantasy. That’s why many people let the quirky and surreal enter their bedroom freely through role-playing and all kinds of creative sex toys.


We’ve all heard that “curiosity killed the cat.” However, the proverb continues: “…but satisfaction brought it back.” Our natural curiosity is unstoppable, and it’s one of the most powerful sources of satisfaction.

There are things we are not comfortable doing in the bedroom but would love to try — a weird sex position, dirty talk, group sex, or something entirely unheard of. The most common sexual fantasies involve things we are curious about but not bold enough to try.

Fantasies allow us to experience sex in a new way, even if only in our heads. The mind is the most diligent sex researcher! You should never be ashamed of where it takes you. This kind of exploration may even give you some fresh ideas you’re comfortable putting into practice.

Encourage your partner to share as well. Together, you may come up with the most unusual and satisfying ways of enriching something as simple as oral sex.

Unfulfilled Sexual Needs

In general, people are not as vanilla as they lead their partners to believe. That goes for men and women — our stereotypes about who should enjoy what are not helping in this respect.

For example, women are commonly believed to be all about romance and tenderness. Romantic, candle-lit sex can be great, but most girls like to get a little rough in the sack. The same goes for men. They are often insecure about asking for something unconventional.

These preconceptions leave a lot of us with unfulfilled sexual desires, which we satisfy through fantasy. We encourage you to bring these secret needs up with your partner. Their acceptance and even excitement may surprise you.

Unfulfilled sexual needs may involve something doable, like light BDSM sex. However, many people have desires they believe are impossible to achieve in reality. That is usually so because they represent a taboo and are normally frowned upon. For them, fantasy is a true savior.

RELATED: 7 Types Of Sexually Unfulfilling Relationships & How To Fix Them


Everyday life can be daunting, stressful, and depressing. Our day problems often stay with us even at night and make it impossible to fall asleep. When we need a little break from our problems and anxieties, we often turn to our imagination. What better way to escape reality for a while than a sexual fantasy?

Escapism is one of the most common reasons why people have fantasies. In part, this is because they provide us with a setting where we are in control. When you’re overwhelmed by everyday worries, a sexual adventure in which you’re at the helm can be wonderfully comforting.

Another great advantage of these flights of imagination is that they are dopamine-inducing. A dopamine hit may be just what you need to lift you up if you’re feeling down. And what better way to produce the happy hormone but to go to your happy place filled with pleasure?


As we’ve said, it’s not all about arousal. When we need to wind down and relax after a hard day at work, we resort to many different methods. Some like to have a glass of wine or do some yoga, while others just let their mind go wild. Just allowing your thoughts to switch from work and responsibilities to this sensual world can be incredibly calming.

It is a well-known fact that sex can release tension, but so can daydreaming about it. It comes with an added benefit of not having to conform to a partner. In your head, you can do anything you want at the moment.

If you crown your sexcapade with some self-stimulation, you’ll be in seventh heaven in no time. Giving yourself an orgasm counts as self-love (it literally produces a “love hormone”). There is no better way to unwind.

Let Your Imagination Fly

As you can see, sexual fantasies are nothing strange. In fact, they are beneficial in multiple ways. They help you relax and relieve some tension as well as stay curious and excited. They play an essential role in our mental and physical well-being. You shouldn’t be afraid or ashamed of them.

Some of your desires will probably stay in your head. However, we do hope we have encouraged you to explore them and share them with your partner. They can enrich your sex life and make you realize that, deep down, we are all sexually creative and kinky.